Mon. Oct. 19, 2009 (Class 25)

Original 1.
the titanic carried more then 1,500 people to there graves it was believed to by unsinkable
Edited 1.
The Titanic, believed to be unsinkable, carried more than 1,500 people to their graves.

Original 2.
the student teacher arrives next week it is necessary that we finishes reading eliots long poem the waste land
Edited 2.
As the student teacher arrives next week, it is necessary that we finish reading Eliot's long poem The Waste Land.

Wed. Oct. 21, 2009 (Class 26)

Original 1.
a renowned magazine many well known writers submit articles and stories to the atlantic monthly
Edited 1.
Many well-known writers submit articles and stories to the Atlantic Monthly, a renowned magazine.

Original 2.
i am very eager to read the french novel the plague carmen said but its not in our library
Edited 2.
"I am very eager to read the French novel, The Plague," Carmen said, "but it's not in our library."

Class 27

Original 1.
everyone in this grade are responsible for this years dance therefore we all must raise funds for the decorations
Edited 1.
Everyone in this grade is responsible for this year's dance; therefore, we all must raise funds for the decorations.

Original 2.
having worked for 8 hours i need to set down listen to music and the enjoyment of a good dinner
Edited 2.
Having worked for eight hours, I need to sit down, listen to music, and enjoy a good dinner.

Class 28

Original 1.
i remember when my neighbor he set up a huge telescope the larger i had ever seen to observe halleys comet
Edited 1.
I remember when my neighbor set up a huge telescope; the largest I have ever seen to observe Halley's Comet.

Original 2.
ms masayo asked do you feel alright now walter or dont you want to go skiing
Edited 2.
Ms. Masayo asked, "Do you feel all right now, Walter, or do you not want to go skiing?"

Class 33

Original 1.
when are these books due hans should i bringn them to the library
Edited 1.
"When are these books due? Hans, should I bring them to the library?"

Original 2.
after the constitutional convention of 1787 drafted the constitution of the united states almost 3 years passed before it was ratified
Edited 2.
After the Constitutional Convention of 1787 drafted the Constitution of the United States, almost three years passed before it was ratified.

Class 34

Original 1.
much depends on weather your effected by the high altitude when you climbed the mountain
Edited 1.
Much depends on whether you're affected by the high altitude when you climb the mountain.

Original 2.
while half the class uses the Internet the rest will study the smithsonian magazines that re different than the ones we used earlier
Edited 2.
While half the class uses the Internet, the rest will study the Smithsonian magazines that are different than the ones we used.

Class 35

Original 1.
oh we havent got finished with our group book report the reason is because everyone dont have a copy of marie's draft
Edited 1.
Oh, we haven't finished with our group book report because not everyone had a copy of Marie's craft.

Original 2.
since my Mom likes canoeing on the yellowstone river hikes in montana and camps in wyoming
Edited 2.
My mom likes canoeing on the Yellowstone River, hiking in Montana, and camping in Wyoming.


Class 36

Original 1.
there are some athletes who rarely play but continue to practice mrs ahmed the new principal stated
Edited 1.
"There are some athletes who rarely play but continue to practice," Mrs. Ahmed, the new principal, stated.

Original 2.
the world series although often exciting sometimes is to slow paced for me and my mom we think
Edited 2.
The World Series, although often exciting, sometimes is too slow paced for me and my mom.



Class 37

Original 1.
ms paula jeffers
campton paper company
18376 river drive
minneaplois mn
dear ms jeffers

Edited 1.
Ms. Paula Jeffers
Campton Paper Company
18376 River Drive
Minneapolis, MN

Dear Ms. Jeffers,



Class 38

Original 1:
because the united states constitution sits out certain individual writes that we is all privileged to enjoy
Edited 1.
The United States Constitution sets out certain individual rights that we are all privileged to enjoy.

Original 2:
we havent neither the time or the ability to practice the play the reason being we lost so many actors to the flew
Edited 2:
We have neither the time nor the ability to practice the play because we lost so many actors to the flu.



Class 39

Original 1:
to be allowed to to to the party i had to finish my science project cleaning my room and helping my Mom fix dinner
Edited 1:
To be allowed to go to the party, I had to finish my science project, clean my room, and help my mom fix dinner.

Original 2:
mr corazzini who cant never start his car was taken by bus too dulles airport on tuesday october 29
Mr. Corazzini, who can never start his car, took the bus to Dulles Airport on Tuesday, October 29.



DOL 40

Sentence 1: luisa bought a antique pitcher for her cousin who is in atlanta which had came from mexico
Edited 1: Luisa bought an antique pitcher from her cousin in Atlanta who had come from Mexico.

Sentence 2: oscar please sit these books on the library table if you dont have alot of things to carry
Oscar, please set these books on the library table if you don't have a lot of things to carry.



DOL 41

Sentence 1: park rangers who works in large forests periodically set fire to mark lands to encourage new growth.
Edited 1: Park Rangers who work in large forests periodically set fire to marked lands to encourage new growth.

Sentence 2: after the discovery of penicillin very man miracle drugs appeared ironically though 40 years bacteria are becoming very much more resistant to drugs
Edited 2: After the discovery of penicillin, many miracle drugs appeared; though, ironically, forty years later bacteria are becoming more resitant to drugs.



DOL 42

Sentence 1: because of differences between the 8 camp counselors causing a change in the field trips destination
Edited 1: Differences between the eight camp counselors caused a change in the field trip's destination.

Sentence 2: first felicia planned the party secondly deciding on decorations theird she invited special guests
Edited 2: First, Felicia planned the party; second, she decided on decorations; third, she invited special guests.



DOL 43

Sentence 1: do juan and davids ownership of this Sailboat entitle them two to membership in the winthrop beach yacht club
Edited 1: Do Juan and David's ownership of this sailboat entitle them to membership in the Winthrop Beach Yacht Club?

Sentence 2: the article in search of spanish galleons in the book shipwrecks was writed by kiber and rotondi who believes it will be found
Edited 2: The article "In Search of Spanish Galleons" in the book Shipwrecks was written by Kiber and Rotondi who believe the galleons will be found.